morningside842

Sun, 24 Apr 2005 08:03:19 GMT

I haven't written in forever, so I thought it would be a good idea to vent for awhile. I have less than 7 days to decide what the rest of my life will be like...okay, maybe I'm exaggerating but I'm at a crossroads right now, and I have always hated making decisions like these. My choice is this--stay in Lincoln for the summer and devote myself to my relationship with Phillip OR move back home where my friends, family, and pets live (not to mention the beautiful scenary that Nebraska lacks) and enjoy my youth. It's not an easy choice because I want to be with Phillip for a long time and if i go home and we don't work out, I would hate to have to live with the knowledge that we could have worked out had I stayed in Lincoln. BUT what if I do stay and we don't work out and I missed out on a summer with my friends and family back home? (by the way, if I stay in Lincoln, I will be living with Phillip so that's an added worry) The big catch in this whole situation is that Eyes Catch Fire is currently doing negotiations with Rhino in a Tree Records, which you are all familiar of I'm sure because of Playing With Matches. I am so proud that they are given a chance to pursue their music, but if they decide to sign the contract, they will be signing up for AT LEAST 3 weeks of tour this summer...but they won't know when until my deadline has passed. So if I decide to stay I'm risking not seeing Phillip for a month out of the summer anyways. Oh what to do??

Fri, 04 Feb 2005 06:40:35 GMT

Yeah, so I just got back from the Drew Newton/Bosio/Eyes Catch Fire concert and...it FUCKIN rocked. Wow, i got all sweaty and shit from rockin out, the mark of a really good show. I think I'd like to cut my feet off now though. Bad shoe choice. So yeah, my boyfriend and his roommates invited the two other bands to stay at there house, which is also where i'll be staying tonight (since I won't see my honey all weekend..yay PWM cd release party). So i'm really glad that I had the foresight to pack my kitty-kat pajamas. Maybe I can get one of them to paint my toenails and french braid my hair...

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 19:49:14 GMT

From the mind of Knathan:

1.) Everytime I see you, my heart sinks. OH OH OH. And the first time I ever hung out with you, at Abby's house, when we saw you get out of the car... we were like... "Daaamn bitch."
2.) I got nothin'. Sorry.
3.) Uhm... yeah. Nothing. I really haven't been around you, or talked to you much.
4.) CUTE.

From the mind of Ted:

1) well you pretty much rawk ass!!!! you are soooo much fun to be around, and when I first met you I had the HUGEST crush on you cause you are so cute, you are ungodly cute girl... you were an experiment, I have never really just walked up to a girl who I thought was super cute/hot and talked to her randomly and it worked and we have like tons of fun when we hang out. which we should do a whole lot more than we are doing NOW, so I will call you, or text you!!!

2) the used, underOATH, and most of the band that I put on your mix.

3) you remind me of...i don't know some one who is ungodly cute, I have no idea, I am not quite sure, I will get back to you on that one...

4) cute

From the beautiful mind of Alyson Kate:

1. Sarah..You make me think of sushi! Haha, but seriously, I had a good time with you the couple of times we hung out. You're funny, and I thought it was really weird how I had never seen you before that day me, you, abby, and molly all went out.

2. Hmm..no songs, but how about reading from the sex book!?

3. Uhhh..uhhh..uhhhhhhhhhhh, I don't freakin know!

4. cute!

Sat, 30 Oct 2004 06:07:31 GMT

Okay, so this night did not turn out like i wanted it to. The whole scene was set, me and my friends in matching costumes, a keg, and some good friends. But then everything got fucked up when my friend steve said i should drop by. Well, of course my ex Zac is his roommate, and little did i know, he had broken up with his girlfriend that night. So of course he was trying to be all over me all night. so me and my roommate left his house to go pick up Ted and zac jumps in the car. fuckin great. well, when we get to the party, Zac starts trying to fight ted which is totally embarrassing. so i got tired of it and said i was taking everyone home. so i dropped ted off first, and then i went to go take steve and zac home. well, me and zac of course start fighting because that's all we know how to do. so as soon as we get to the house, steve jumps out. but zac says he wants to talk to me. he says he was sorry for cheating on me, that he didn't even want to do it. but he was scared because he didn't want to be in such a serious relationship. and i told him, "zac i always told you that if you ever felt like cheating then to just break up with me bc that would be way better than me finding out about what you did later." to which he replied,"i don't know why i did it." Then steve calls me and starts screaming at me saying, "i know you're taking zac home with you, i knew you would do this, i don't know why i ever talked to you again, fuck you." and hung up on me. So i went inside to try and talk to him and he freaks out on me. I was like, "me and zac are just trying to make peace with each other, nothing was happening, why would you thing i would go back to him?" and he started yelling like, "well you didn't care that he was my friend the first time. I told you he was a fuckin player and you didn't listen." so i started to cry and ran out. Zac followed me out, yelling hey come back. So when i got to my car i called him and said sorry for leaving, but steve freaked out. And he just goes, "i gotta go". The girl he just broke up with showed up. Typical. He always goes back. We broke up like 20 times over 5 months. So i get back to my apartment and his fuckin ex girlfriend calls me. She's like, why did you call zac? and i told her it was none of her fuckin business. she was like, um, ok. Dumb bitch.

Fri, 01 Oct 2004 06:16:25 GMT

when you're gone by miss misery
Your name:
Your age:
In a relationship?
You will die on:	June 1, 2062
Cause of death:	Natural Causes
Number of people at your funeral:	137
Song that will play :	Sarah Brightman - Deliver Me
Item you leave behind for your loved one:	His/her favorite piece of clothing of yours
Item you leave behind for best friend:	Photos of "that night that nobody talks about"
Your happiest memory of life:	Never having any regrets

Quiz created with MemeGen!

I'm still alive

Sat, 28 Aug 2004 19:54:33 GMT

Hello everyone. I don't remember the last time I wrote on here, I wasn't a home a whole lot this summer. But now I have more time on my hands than I know what to do with. I mean, I'm a full time student with a part time job, yet I can't seem to fill up the days like I did when I was in Springfield. The most jam packed days still feel empty here. Last night I was drinking over at my friend Steve's house and my ex boyfriend lives there. He stayed inside mostly the whole night, which made me glad, but then he came outside with his girlfriend. I don't think he made eye contact with me once. Then, I got stranded at a party somehow where I knew NOBODY. So, I drank to keep myself occupied to the point where I ended up sitting on a curb outside waiting for Steve to come and rescue me. Then my roommate today was telling me that Zac (my ex) was calling me a slut last night. Really smart to say something like that to my roommate and good friend right? Well, I'm pretty sure he wanted me to know he said that. I have tried everything to try and be civil with him. I have even come straight out and told him that we should get along bc i'm only going to be here for a semester anyways. Yet, everytime i go to steve's house he hides from me or doesn't say a word to me then talks shit behind my back. How juvenile is that? If he wants to be a dipshit that's fine-but i'm done being nice to him. Anyways, I love you all and will undoubtedly update more later.

Sarah Mountain Grove

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 17:18:20 GMT

Oh, also, I'd like to applaud Kyle Ragsdale's amazing ability to puke and rally...while puking underwater. wow.

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 17:12:32 GMT

Quote of the day from yesterday:
(while sitting on the dock of the lake, Brett in the water)

"Molly get in the thing!"

That is all.

Confused..

Mon, 07 Jun 2004 02:58:13 GMT

What is this stalking thing?? Why is the hollister guy stalking me? That is kind of creepy... but how do i stalk someone? LOL. Another thing, tonight is indeed sunday. Is the sex book club meeting? If so, time and place?

Love ya'll lots,
Sarah

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 21:08:22 GMT

Thanks to whoever posted this picture. I'm addicted.

Caution: VERY long. very pissed

Thu, 03 Jun 2004 18:35:42 GMT

So, I'm just now dragging myself out of bed, still with a wicked hangover. How in the world did I end up so drunk? Not only that, i worked out for the first time in forever yesterday, so i can't tell which parts of my body are angry that i worked out, and which ones refuse to move because of the excess of alcohol, cigars..etc. On a lighter note, before i dive into last night, i did end up finding my purse. I don't know how it hid itself under the seat of my car, but it must have been lookin out for itself. Anyways... I do not know what happened last night. I am so not the drama queen, but this shit that was laid in front of me last night fuckin blew me away. I'm not mad at anyone who was at the party, so Nathan, don't worry about it. You guys were all amazingly supportive--i don't know what i would have done without you. Furthermore, I want to clear up any misconceptions about brett and i. Nobody saw anything, because there was nothing to see. Brett is a very good friend to me, and i am very supportive of him and Kara. So let's just leave that at that. Anyways, for those of you who didn't hear the whole story last night, I find out that my boyfriend of 5 months whom i had just been broken up with supposedly bc we live so far away, had cheated on me for a good majority of our relationship. And not just cheated on me either, but with a slutty girl he KNEW i hated, which in my eyes makes it worse. What blows my mind is what a show he put on about it. He was always saying he could never do anything with abby--he didn't like her, she was gross, slutty, yadyada. Not only did he do it on my birthday, but he did it again sometime afterwards. And that's just the girl that I know about. He also went to Cancun for spring break, so i'm sure there were a few there.. and on Easter break i suspect i caught him in the act as well. What bothers me the most is that someone who supposedly cared about me could LIE to MY FACE for so long. Even after he agreed that we would always be honest with each other. I told him if he ever wanted to be with another girl then to break up with me on the spot. BECAUSE CHEATING IS THE WORSE THING IN THE WORLD. It makes me wonder what the hell he was doing with me, because we were nearly broken up a couple times, and he wanted to make things better. He should have just fuckin stopped his lying--i gave him every opportunity. I just can't get over the idea of him having sex with this slut on the same bed that he and i cuddled on and such. And to top things off, i had just talked to him a few days ago and he dared to try and make me feel bad about seeing other guys this summer. He said he didn't like the thought of sleeping around anymore, that he hadn't done anything with anyone and had even turned down a hot girl at a party. YEAH fuckin RIGHT. Because i was also informed that he is currently fucking the very girl that he told me he wasn't. And he tried to make me feel bad for seeing other people so soon bc "it made it seem like everything i told him about us seem like bullshit if i could move on so quickly" Excuse me? Who's the bullshitter? And who moved on faster??? He moved on while we were still together! Now that's a speedy bounce back. Now i am even more disgusted about the email i sent him. I take back all i said to him. I could never care about someone who could lie to my face, cheat on me, and not feel an ounce of guilt. Fuck these last five months. They meant nothing.

I'm so damn lazy

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 21:10:13 GMT

Okay guys. So I woke up at 11:00 today, but i was still a little tired so I was like, well I'll get back up at 12:00...that did not happen. I didn't wake up until 3:45! Now I feel like the biggest piece of shit ever. So much for all the errands I had to run today. It would be one thing if i was up really late, but I wasn't. Geez.. so much for seizing the day like we talked about. So anyways, remember Zac who I sent the email too, but didn't get a reply? Last night i was talking to a friend from college (Hi Brad!) and I started to get a lil pissed that he hadn't replied. So i sent him and instant message that said: "alright. you didn't reply to my email. Thanks for making me realize that I should NEVER tell you how i feel." Well, when I got up, I had an Msn instant message from him that he sent at 4:40 in the morning. It said "Save it i am not in a good mood." Hmm. I don't know if that's the reply that I wanted. But then again, I told Molly that any reply would be better than nothing. Still, would you rather be ignored or get a 'fuck off' kind of reply? Hmm. I dunno. I do know one thing for sure.. no more late night emails to mr. zac.

Love ya'll lots!
Sarah

Help!

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 04:39:18 GMT

Any idea how in the world i can find a pic small enough to be my display?? Every pic i find it says is too big!! Grrr!!

Why guys?

Tue, 01 Jun 2004 00:11:43 GMT

So anyways, since i was suffering from extreme insomnia last night, i decided to write my ex Zac an email. Unfortunately for me, I was seriously sleep deprived and sushi high, so i ended up pouring out my heart to him about how much i hated that we had to meet only to have to leave each other again. I was feeling pretty regretful about it this morning, but there's nothing i can do about it now. I am the weirdest person. I could have something great staring me in the face (which i very well may have) and still linger on the past and things that i have no power to change. I just hate having a sense of leaving something unfinished. And leaving things unsaid is a huge tragedy. So anyways, i write a stupid sappy email to someone i know can only hurt me, and what do you know? No reply. Don't you love putting yourself out there like that only to have to look like a complete jackass in the end? I'd like to say that I learned my lesson, but i'm a girl who will trip over something twice before i realize that i need to pay attention to where i'm placing my feet...and my heart.

I should be sleeping...

Mon, 31 May 2004 09:23:52 GMT

So tonight was an interesting night. I lost my sushi virginity along with Molly, with Abby and Allison instructing us, so as not to look like amateurs. Afterwards we chilled in Abby's huge house, complete with a theater, and drank some cork-peppered hot wine, that tasted like Welch's Grape Juice. Although it took us a while to figure out why, Molly and I were completely glowing and giddy and had a wicked case of the munchies. Then it was pointed out to me that raw fish is chock full of aphrodisiacs... so we did lose our virginity in a very real way:) Molly and I left at about 4:00 only to realize that we were heading towards hell. A huge spooky looking factory spewing out smoke while you are surrounded by forest outside of city limits isn't my idea of a good ending to a good night. But don't despair, we were allowed back out of hell, even though the evil deer minions tried to block our escape.